It's "Make your own caption" time
by Volker Weber
Photo: Eric Hancock
Comments
Alles kann seine Vorzüge haben, man muss sie nur sehen:
Als Frau denke ich: ich schlafe angenehmer auf einem weichen Kissen
als auf Klaviertasten...
I need me one of those "babe magnet" kilts I keep hearing Mr. Buchan talk about...
Now that dude has one hell of a tool shed going on there..
Twins? What the hell am I going to do with twins?
Where did you get that picture of me? I hadn't released that to the press!
...
And the star-spangled banner
In triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free
And the home of the brave!
Thomas demonstrates the normal curve of distribution.
This is exactly what Paul Mooney saw on Tuesday Morning..
"I in shape. Round is a shape".
"Aerodynamically speaking, I'm capable of 200mph".
"You need a big hammer to drive in a big nail"
"Once you've had fat, baby, there's no going back".
"I wish I could actually see my feet"
"I hate going to the beach on Holiday. Greenpeace keep shoving me back in the water".
Damn. I've just realised - these are all the things I say about myself....
Time to diet.
---* Bill
Jumping up and down in an attempt to lose weight will only make you shorter...
Authorities ended their search today for Violet Beauregard. Herman Floop, 55, accidentally mistook Violet for a "bigassed blueberry" and promptly ate her.
Authorities will not press charges.
"Don't you just love these all-inclusive resorts?"
"Ok folks, time to get ready for the belly dance class!"
"Hmmh, looks like nobody wants to compete with me in the 'Mr Washboard Abs' contest ..."
"I'm dead sexy..."
"I haven't seen me willy in years..."
"Did someone say pizza?"
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