It's "Make your own caption" time
by Volker Weber
Comments
it wasn't me gov - honest - this is a stichup . .
I drove the UPS truck, found the river and all I got was this lousy sewing machine!
Yes, even you can make this UPS truck waterproof! Buy one sewing machine and get one free, now!
"Submitted for your approval...If only officers Brill and Devendorf had turned around and looked, they might have believed the driver's story. A story of a strangely dressed young man and an unidentified sewing object. Sergeant Weber knew the truth, as did the driver, but what was he to do? Write a ticket for a really bad parking job? Or acknowledge that he and the driver already had their ticket for the day... a round trip ticket, to and from The Twilight Zone."
REUTERS - 03.28.2005 - UPS's new instant teleport delivery service is a big hit, allowing the stitchy witch sewing machine company and others to fulfill their on-time delivery guarantees. But scientists point out that the heisenberg compensator obvously needs some calibration, and residents are demanding an explanation for the missing subdivision. A UPS representative explained that there is a price for progress, and that they are actively studying the "Action and Reaction" phenomenon that accompanies most deliveries......
If only they had heeded the old adage 'A stitch in time saves nine' they might have prevented the Unravelling of the Post van's Seams.
Thirteen million times a day, businesses like yours trust UPS to connect them with their customers and suppliers around the world. Whether it's an overnight letter or a sewing machin, UPS delivers. On time. Guaranteed.
"Hi folks, this is Peter Priss here, with the new Ronco Sew 'n' Tow. We've already shown you how you can sew up a nifty tuxedo in just five minutes ... now watch how the Sew 'n' Tow's 600 horsepower nuclear cold fusion Wankel engine makes this poor delivery driver's day! You'll also get to hear personal stories of how the Sew 'n' Tow has allowed these three deputies to save big $$ on their uniform alteration bills - and - giving them real horsepower in daring rescue attempts like this one. Remember, we have the official "seal of approval" of the Department of Homeland Security on this new product. You just *shouldn't* leave home without it! There's even an easy payment plan! Stay tuned!"
Thanks UPS for pimping my suit.
Using his quick witt and his portable sewing machine Paul was able to flee the scene of his DUI by converting his UPS uniform into a tuxedo.
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