IBM wants a patent for injecting laughter into conference calls

by Volker Weber

IBM collaborates through conference calls. If you have ever been in one of them you know how incredibly boring they can be. Technology to the rescue:

A method, system and computer program product for enlivening conference calls. Noise detectors are placed on the telephone lines for the participants to a conference call. These noise detectors are used to monitor for noise on the telephone lines. A pre-selected stored sound (e.g., an interjection such as a laugh) may be generated if there is a period of silence on one of the telephone lines that exceeds a threshold, if noise is detected on a telephone line associated with a pre-selected individual, or if noise is detected on a pre-selected telephone line. Further, a request may be received from one of the participants of the conference call to play a provided interjection. The received interjection is later generated during the conference call. By including interjections during the conference call at appropriate times, the conference call may be enlivened and more interesting to the participants.

I would have a different idea which cannot be patented: skip four in five conference calls. The interesting stuff will be handled offline anyway.

Comments

Reading this patent, I wouldn't be too sure that you can't patent your approach. We may get into legal issues as to the variability in skip frequency, but hey, a sufficiently bland text should do it.

ibm@sit.com. O-M-G!

Frank Quednau, 2009-09-24 22:32

There will be less need for conference calls once the entire workforce is offshored to China and India. And yes, there's a patent for that.

Jeff Gilfelt, 2009-09-24 23:01

Well, this made me laugh, at least! :) I can think of other sounds to insert, too -> maybe a few "that's what she said"s from the office? others?
Chris

Chris Reckling, 2009-09-25 14:31

Reminds me of my German and Philosophy teacher who told us while practicing presentations: "Sie müssen lernen, Stille zu ertragen."

Philipp Sury, 2009-09-26 16:22

Hilarious! My old boss at IBM had the right interjection - a yappy dog.
I'm with you - perhaps conf calls can be more "enlivened and interesting" if you only hold them when absolutely necessary.

Brian Benz, 2009-09-27 20:38

Recent comments

Richard Schwartz on Think your Skype messages get end-to-end encryption? Think again! at 21:46
Volker Weber on Think your Skype messages get end-to-end encryption? Think again! at 21:22
Nick Daisley on Think your Skype messages get end-to-end encryption? Think again! at 21:15
Jan Lauer on No Apple vs. Samsung debate here at 20:07
Ingo Seifert on No Apple vs. Samsung debate here at 13:26
Volker Weber on A week with the Q10 at 20:00
Volker Weber on A week with the Q10 at 01:28
Torben Volkmann on A week with the Q10 at 21:01
Oscar Toft on Barracuda Networks launches a 'Dropbox Killer' at 01:08
Frank Moser on Fifty Five at 08:46
Tim Franz on Time for a new Lumia at 10:27
Andrew Magerman on Fifty Five at 09:55
Joris Bos on Time for a new Lumia at 09:34
Bob Balaban on Fifty Five at 17:04
Felix Binsack on Hallo Samsung at 10:49
Detlev Buschkamp on Fifty Five at 15:20
Joerg Hochwald on Fifty Five at 13:09
Wolfgang Hilpert on Fifty Five at 11:21
Karsten Ernst on Fifty Five at 11:12
Dirk Steins on Fifty Five at 10:45
Hans Bornich on Fifty Five at 07:48
Volker Weber on Time for a new Lumia at 07:47
Ryan Partlow on Fifty Five at 23:49
Volker Berding on Fifty Five at 23:48
Matthias Röder on Fifty Five at 22:54

Ceci n'est pas un blog

vowe.net is a personal website published by Volker Weber a.k.a. vowe. I am an author, consultant and systems architect based in Darmstadt, Germany.

rss Click here to subscribe

Hello

About me
Contact
Publications
Certificates
Wishlist
Frequently asked questions

Local time is 05:20

visitors.gif
99 visitors online

Tip jar

Archives

As most of my articles roll off the front page rather quickly, I am making an archive of previous posts available here. You can also use the handy search box at the top of the page if you are looking for something particular.

Last 30 days
More archives

Mobile tag for this page

© 1992-2013 Volker Weber.
All Rights Reserved.

Impressum