This is Finland

by Volker Weber

+15°C / 59°F
This is as warm as it gets in Finland, so we'll start here.
People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves.
The Finns are out in the sun, getting a tan.

+10°C / 50°F
The French are trying in vain to start their central heating.
The Finns plant flowers in their gardens.

+5°C / 41°F
Italian cars won't start,
The Finns are cruising in cabriolets.

0°C / 32°F
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Vantaa river (in Finland) gets a little thicker.

-5°C / 23°F
People in California almost freeze to death.
The Finns have their final barbecue before winter.

-10°C / 14°F
The Brits start the heat in their houses.
The Finns start using long sleeves.

-20C / -4F
The Aussies flee from Mallorca.
The Finns end their Midsummer celebrations.
Autumn is here.

-30C / -22F
People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth.
The Finns start drying their laundry indoors.

-40C / -40F
Paris start cracking in the cold.
The Finns stand in line at the hotdog stands.

-50C / -58F
Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole.
The Finnish army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real winter weather.

-60C / -76F
Korvatunturi (the home for Santa Claus) freezes.
The Finns rent a movie and stay indoors.

-70C / -94F
The false Santa moves south.
The Finns get frustrated since they can't store their Kossu (Koskenkorva vodka) outdoors.
The Finnish army goes out on winter survival training.

-183C / -297.4F
Microbes in food don't survive.
The Finnish cows complain that the farmers' hands are cold.

-273C / -459.4F
ALL atom-based movent halts.
The Finns start saying "Perkele (=damn), it's cold outside today."

-300C / -508F
Hell freezes over, Finland wins the Eurovision Song Contest.

[via Haiko Hebig's mail]


gibts auch als US Version, mit besonderem Augenmerk auf die Kalifornier:

Andreas, 2002-12-14

Old archive pages

I explain difficult concepts in simple ways. For free, and for money. Clue procurement and bullshit detection.


Paypal vowe