Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'
by Volker Weber
My fellow Americans," Bush said, "at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us."
Bush swore to do "everything in [his] power" to undo the damage wrought by Clinton's two terms in office, including selling off the national parks to developers, going into massive debt to develop expensive and impractical weapons technologies, and passing sweeping budget cuts that drive the mentally ill out of hospitals and onto the street.
During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.
This Onion piece is three years old. Somehow it looks quite recent, doesn't it?
Comments
AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT" ON INTERNET:
lovely article: http://www.satirewire.com/news/0010/international.shtml
I really like the editors note:
It seems that after reading this entirely fictional story, some investors/customers of Net Nanny believed the company actually was going to produce NetNarrow software. As a result, Net Nanny asked SatireWire to please assure people that this is not the case. No, really.
Martijn, 2004-03-31
Satirewire is a great site. It’s a shame they don’t update any more. This one is an old favourite:
Australia Wakes Up in North Atlantic
Ben Poole, 2004-03-31
