Microsoft to migrate to Lotus Notes and Domino
by Volker Weber
In a suprise move Microsoft announced today it is going to migrate to IBM Lotus Notes and Domino 8.5 Maintenance Release 2 Fix Pack 2. IBM promises an incredible boost in productivity. A team of five developers will be able to replace Microsoft's entire portfolio using the RAD capabilities of Lotus Domino Designer within a single week. Before end of business day a single developer will be able to replicate the capabilities of popular Q&A sites like stackoverflow.com. Microsoft CEO Steve Baller says: "XPages is a break-through technology never seen before in this industry. Outside of Lotus Domino. And Workplace."
Microsoft expects great savings in quality assurance. Due to more than 20 years of quality engineering the platform is practically free of any defects. The new application portfolio will be published as user supported community editions and toolkits. The documentation will be written by customers in the comfort of their own cubicle, using a brand new technology called Miki. Patent pending.
A migration of this scale does not come without some pitfalls. Microsoft is re-thinking their mobile strategy since IBM only implemented a subset of protocols. The award winning Windows Phone 7 is currently not supported and will take approximately 60 month to add to the portfolio. IBM does not see demand from its large customers and a small business like Microsoft will not make a difference. Current devices of partner Nokia also fail to comply with strict requirements in the Domino product. Microsoft is currently in talks with Apple and Google to use their mobile platforms.
As compensation for the deal Microsoft is taking over some top IBM marketing talent. A senior vice president will be conducting experiments around the next desktop strategy. Microsoft will also be contracting some partners to explain possible failures. Additionally, Microsoft is going to release Office 97 free of charge to relieve IBM from developing Symphony. The product comes without any document templates and the company expects to upgrade large portions of the user base to Office 2010 later.
Microsoft employees unhappy with the move will be given 30 days to find a job outside the company before being shot.
Comments
That this would happen on a day like this...
you are a bad bad man, but we love you
im concurring with Mark, but its a really good one. Gmail Motion aint that bad either.
Now I gonna quit! Thanks for that!!
Why does it take a whole week? ;-)
Really nice!
One developer could build 800 applications, but conference calls between the five developers in Redmond, China, India, Littleton and an unknown moon colony take up most of the week.
nice joke
Today is the 1° April : - )
so cool. Just missing Steve Ballmer jumping around on stage yelling that he loves that company
... sent from my iPhone ... until Nokia takes over Toys'r us
Steve is working on a "consultants, consultants, consultants" chant.
I was fooled every day for about six years just by working with this product.
Gnnnnnnnn.... gnnn... muhahahahaa! :-)
2012-04-01 Microsoft cancelled the project because they got lost in registration hell while trying to find the download on the IBM Web site.
I didn't realise it was a joke until I got mid-way through the second paragraph.
Sounds too much like IBM's collateral?
Excellent Volker - the best April fool I've seen today so far !
Had me checking the calendar by the second sentence. Good one.
The Exchange team's April 1 blog post: http://blogs.technet.com/b/exchange/archive/2011/04/01/announcing-some-cool-new-features-coming-soon-to-a-server-near-you.aspx
The Exchange team's April 1 blog post: http://blogs.technet.com/b/exchange/archive/2011/04/01/announcing-some-cool-new-features-coming-soon-to-a-server-near-you.aspx
I thought they would go for Google Apps - like Contoso
http://googleenterprise.blogspot.com/2011/04/contoso-has-gone-google.html
I took part in the PoC that Microsoft conducted over the last 6 months and I really like the "doubble click right closes window" feature. It makes me so much more productive.
Yes, that is an important feature product management is fully aware of.
I just filed a proposal to implement it in Windows 8 as a general platform feature and the IBM marketing people that we hired are supporting it.
Your link helped a lot to prove the value.
Rabbit season, duck season, Lotus season.
Seems everywhere I turn people are kicking Lotus while it is down.
"Why are people so unkind?" - KAMAHL
