Attention marketeers: this is how you can win me

by Volker Weber

Today I told you that you can't just waltz in here, promise a commission and I will haul your goods to my readers. This doesn't work. But there is a way. Listen up:

  1. You must have a brilliant product. Your product has to be interesting to me. Your product isn't just a little bit better than your competitor's product. It's one of a kind. And it's not a kickstarter project. It's a real product that one can buy.
  2. You ask me if I would like to try your product. If it matches everything above, chances are I do. Just talk about the product, not about how it makes me rich and famous. I am not going to take your money.
  3. If I like the idea, you may send me a product sample.
  4. Once I have the product, I am going to try it. Immediately. If it does what you promised, I am going to write a "First impressions". Readers like new stuff they did not know about. And they like an honest opinion.
  5. And now things get interesting. If I like your product, chances are that I am going to obsess about it. That I am going to use it every day and cannot stop talking about it. This is when you win. What do you win? You win the editor-refuses-to-give-it-back award. That means you will probably sell hundreds if not thousands of it.
  6. However, you might lose. I don't obsess about it. It turns out your product isn't any good. Then you can pick it up a few days later. Or you send me a UPS label and I will return it within 24 hours. Readers here are smart. They won't buy something that does not go beyond a "First impressions" post.

What happens if you win the editor-refuses-to-give-it-back award? Do you ever get your product back? Of course you do, if you need to. But that's only for the accountants. I always ask what I should do with a product I have no use for. Most of them go back. Some will be donated. Some are trashed. I will never ever sell your product. And I will always return it to you when you ask. See #6 above.

But that's not what you want. What you really want is an even better product. See #5.


I'd like to confirm #5. Thank you vowe for being a good mother!

Heiko Müller, 2016-04-21

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I explain difficult concepts in simple ways. For free, and for money. Clue procurement and bullshit detection.


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